Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Let the clothes fall where they may.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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