I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize