Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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