She's JV to your varsity
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
where are you?
Hypothermia
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
