I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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