I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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