how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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