Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize