you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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