How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
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