At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize