Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
