I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Drunk is a universal language darling
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
