wrigley field is MILF paradise
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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