It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
