It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
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I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
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I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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