Kareoke will never be a sober sport
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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