it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize