this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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