Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize