Where are you?
In a non slutty way
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
