Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
