one two three fourrrrnication!
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize