I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
