Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
handjob tips. give me some.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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