On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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