That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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