it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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