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I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
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