Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
