I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
