I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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