I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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