Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
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I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
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Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
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