My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
