she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
