I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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