the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
you had me at cake vodka
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
