Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize