I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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