she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
