this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
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