I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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