all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
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He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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