I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
