Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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