I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep