I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.