opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten