I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?