Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
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just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
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I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!