ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina