dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
New Dating App in Dallas For Only The Most Ambitious and Attractive Singles
tonight lets celebrate not being married
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"