dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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