I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
you traded sex for a burrito?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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