I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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